Urrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhhaaaaaahhhhh

And the NBA All-Star Weekend ended with a sound that Anderson Varejao (and apparently, according to the above picture, Lebron James) is very familiar with.   The primal grunt that all great charge-takers unleash when they "passionately fall" to get the referee's attention. 

To me, the highlight of the All-Star game occurred before the game during player introductions.  Shaq's dance routine with the Jabbawockee's was much more entertaining than watching Rashard Lewis, Paul Pierce, and Danny Granger brick 3 after 3 after 3.  And how about Reggie Miller trying to act black but being totally exposed when he questioningly said "Jab-a-woke-ees?" followed by an awkward pause when one of the producers was obviously telling him who they were.  I still think his brother Cheryl (now that he is no longer coaching the Kings) can not only beat Reggie one on one, but he could also stomp a mud hole in him, Stone Cold Steve Austin style.  The only thing that came close to topping Reggie's whiteness was Doug Collins effort during the 1st quarter "show the celebrities that are in attendance moment."  When Snoop Dogg came on, Reggie orgasm'd while in the background we could hear Collins saying "Snoopy Doggy Dogg".  Right, Doug ... is he still dying his hair blond?  Worst hair decision since Mike Awesome decided to shave his mullet.

Anyways, the game went much like I thought it would.  The East might have the sizzle with Lebron and D-Wade, but the West was the much better team.  This is indicative of the league overall, as the West is definitely still a step ahead of the East.  When Kevin Durant (who was the MVP of the whole weekend) cannot even get a sniff of the All-Star team, you know your league is tough.  The "Kobe and Shaq are back" angle didn't really play for me.  Shaq will always do well in the All-Star game because no one plays defense, and he can still dunk a ball.  Kobe will always do well in an All-Star game because he always comes out shooting like Stephon Marbury on a speedball.  I always love seeing the awkward Yao moments that come with every game.  In a game when everyone tries to show off, Yao comes off like an Ivan-Draggo robot clone.  The game plays more like a 5 minute wind sprint, where he just jogs down the court only for Kobe to launch a 3 and then Lebron to launch one on the other end.  His knees after the All-Star game must feel like Hulk Hogan's after years of being put down with Ric Flair's deadly Figure Four Leg Lock.  

Overall, the All-Star Weekend gets a thumbs down from me.  I realize that none of the guys are going to play defense, but there should at least be an unwritten rule that they keep the game close until the 4th quarter, so we can really see these guys play.  The best All-Star games in the past have gone ultra-competitive in crunch time.  That is when we see who the real best players in the game are, as those are the guys that are in there in crunch time.  What we saw last night was a beat down, and it was about as entertaining as Pat Summit in a bikini contest.  

I'll be back tomorrow with the last Mount Rushmore, as I tackle the M.R. of Fringe Sports.  Hockey, Golf, Boxing, Professional Wrestling, etc... Actually, I may save professional wrestling for a full post as that could be some good debate.  We will see how I feel.  Anyways ...

A hearty cheer to anyone who flops for a charge (but not for those that flop during shots or coming off screens) and as always, NRTTS.

Coach Deuce

You Tube Clip of the Day - (if this doesn't give you chills, you are either not human or not a basketball fan)