M.R. of Squirtball

It seems appropriate that we have made our way to doing the Mt. Rushmore of Baseball during the week in which the Last Great Hope for a clean power hitting legend went out the window when Alex Rodriguez admitted to squirting.  (Mini rant: I've gone away from calling "using steroids" juicing, instead going with the porn-friendly name of "squirting".  Something about the image that comes to mind when saying 'Mark McGwire is a squirter' just makes me laugh)  Anyways,  the baseball Mt. Rushmore can be debated over and over due to the differences in the different eras of the game.  The era that a fan is most familiar with will often get the benefit of the doubt, because everything was always better "back in the day".  That said, to me there is only one spot that is in doubt, which I will get into later.  So without further Freddy Adu, I give you the Mt. Rushmore of Squirtball.  The first, and most obvious choice is ...

Baby Ruth?

The Sultan of Swat, The Colossus of Clout, The Great Bam-bin-o is without a doubt THEE greatest baseball player of all-time.  With hitting numbers that are out of this world, Ruth cemented himself as one of the greatest athletes of all time.  Ruth was so good that people began saying about other people, "He is the Babe Ruth of ___ (insert sport here)".  Recently, that may have changed to "The Michael Jordan of ____," but Ruth is the one that started it all.  To go along with his incredible prowess at the plate, Ruth started his career off as one of the top pitchers in baseball, pitching the Boston Red Sox to a few World Series Championships before his legendary sale to the Yankees.  He was further immortalized in the cinematic classic The Sandlot, which inspired Ham's professional wrestling persona, The Great Hambino.  Simply put, Ruth is at the top by himself.

The next man is also a no-brainer, in my opinion.  He is ...

Jackie Robinson

Robinson is most famous for breaking the color barrier in Major League Baseball.  Amidst heavy racism, death threats, and enormous pressure to perform, Robinson cemented himself as a baseball legend by not only breaking the color barrier, but also by performing at a Hall of Fame level.  He was a 6 time All-Star, and was voted the first ever MLB Rookie of the Year.  Robinson was an MVP in 1949, stole home an astounding 19 times, and was a terror on the base paths.  Also, without Jackie Robinson we may not have been blessed to see such gems as Darryl Strawberry, Doc Gooden, Kevin Mitchell, Chili Davis, or Willy Mo Pena.  Cocaine dealers everywhere thank you, Jackie Robinson.  Take your place on the mountain.

The third man is also a no-brainer.  He is ... 

Hank Aaron

Now more than ever, we have to appreciated the greatness that was Henry Aaron.  The rightful owner of the All-Time Home Run Record, Aaron finished with 755 home runs in his 21 seasons.  He is the only player in MLB history to hit 30 home runs in 15 seasons, holds the record for RBIs and total bases in a career, and one an MVP award.  On top of this, he toppled Babe Ruth in a time that rivaled Jackie Robinson's initial playing days as a Dodger.  While receiving death threats from the KKK, he persevered through and broke the Fat Man's record once and for all.  It took the Cream and the Clear for Aaron's record to be toppled by Barry Bonds.  However, any true fan knows that Hank Aaron is still the Home Run King - the most hallowed record in all of sports.  For that, he earns his place on the mountain.

The last spot is the one that is most up for debate.  There are many great managers, owners, and players throughout the history of the game.  Connie Mack, Walter Johnson, any of the great Yankees (Gehrig, Dimaggio, Mantle, Maris), Roberto Clemente, Cy Young, and Ty Cobb are just a few of the names that came to mind for this last spot.  That said, this man is a legend for doing something better than anybody else has ever done it.  He is ...

Nolan Ryan

The Big Texan was damn near unhittable throughout his entire career.  Nobody pitched away from contact quite like Nolan Ryan did, and he did it with his legendary fast ball, which usually topped out at over 100 mph.  He pitched in an unbelievable 27 seasons, had a major league record of 5,714 strikeouts (more than 900 more than the next closest, The Big Unit), and had an eye popping MLB record 7 no-hitters (to go along with 12 one hitters).  While he may not have had the best winning percentage (just over .500), he never played on the best teams.  MLB is all about statistics, and no pitchers pop out more than "The Ryan Express".  For that, he earns his place among the all-time greats on the Mt. Rushmore of Baseball.  He also has this to his credit.

He can beat the living dog piss out of Robin Ventura.

That is all for today, NRTTS and such.

Coach Deuce