Strange sports rituals

Athletes are weird.  Better said, sports are weird.  Started as a tool for competition, they have evolved into what they are today - money making machines (sorry NHL and WNBA, didn't mean to include you) that breed larger than life characters.  Along the way, they have made sure to try and stay true to the original intentions of their sport.  In trying to do this, some strange, head scratching rituals have come about, often with no feasible explanation for the act other than "it is tradition."  So in this post, I look to examine some of the strangest sports rituals out there today.

The Pitcher "Jump Over Base Path"

This is one that is chalked up purely to "bad luck".  A pitcher is entering or leaving the field of play, approaches the deadly chalk line with caution and makes like Carl Lewis over the sum'bitch.  I'm not really sure where this originated, or even why, but it is about as silly as it gets.  Does stepping on the line automatically mean that you must hang plate for plate with Prince Fielder at a Chinese buffet?  Or maybe it means you have to go on a "who can go the longest without showering" contest with Kevin Youkilis and Trot Nixon.  Possibly it means that you are locked in a dark room naked with Mike Piazza.  The people that came up with this ritual are the same ones that brought you "step on a crack and break your mothers back."

The Foul Shot Routine

This one is all about rhythm.  A player steps to the line, pulls out his johnson, gives it two tugs, rubs his taint, flips the ball up in the air (giving it backspin), takes two dribbles to his right, sets his feet, does a one handed follow through, finds the center of the ball, and finally attempts the shot.  Only to miss.  There have been some weird free throw routines over the years, with Jeff Hornacek's Face Wipe, Jason Kidd's Kiss, and Nick Van Exel's 17 foot shot coming to mind.  Every one of them has the same thing in common; they do not affect the actual shot.  The whole process has become such a mindfuck for some players that they seek to create a routine just for the sake.  Lebron had his brief "kiss the wrist" routine, which proved to be an utter failure.  Gilbert Arenas does the "around the waist" that we all learned in 3rd grade basketball as if that has some difference on whether the ball actually goes through the net.  I think most players today are just out there trying to create something that will make them stick out from the rest of the players in the league.  And what about the "low fives" after every shot, make or miss?  If you miss a foul shot and try to give a low five, you should automatically be locked in a room with Bill Walton and have to listen to him talk about himself for five hours.

The Pep Circle (Or Any Related Mob)

C'mon, we have got to give this one a rest.  A group of players gathers in a circle, arms around each other, where they proceed to rock back and forth all Jabbawockee-like while some Alpha Male in the middle grunts out motivational material like Shawn Kemp at a Downfall of Having Kids Convention.  The above picture pretty much hits the nail on the head with what is wrong with this fad.  It used to be cool when a guy like Ray Lewis would do it (in fact, I will grant Ray, and any African-American for that matter, permission to do this) but when I see Drew Brees barking in the middle of a circle on that ESPN commercial, it just makes me laugh.  Like Reggie Bush is actually paying attention to his mole faced quarterback making an ass of himself in the Pep Circle.  All he is thinking about is how Ray J continues to dominate his universe.  Never did I ever think I would ever utter the words "Ray J owns Reggie Bush," but here I am, and dammit if he doesn't.  Nothing like being able to watch your girlfriend get plowed and "s" another guys "d" like a porn star any time you want on the Internet.  Anyways, I think it is time we retire the Pep Circle, especially with a pigment challenged figure in the middle.  

For this last one, I couldn't find a proper picture (the picture that started the post was the best I could come up with) to demonstrate just what happens in this ritual.  So let us imagine for a second ...

The big game is here, the coach has given his pep talk, you have watched the culminating scene in Rocky II, you have ran some ladder agilities in the locker room, and you just ran through the "Scalp The Skins" banner that the cheerleaders made.  After a quick lap around the court (a weird ritual in itself), a few balls are dispersed to a couple players on the right side of the court, and lay-up lines are formed.  Player One heads to the bucket and does a very white board slap, as you collect the rebound.  You quickly toss the ball to the next player waiting for the ball, and you head for the shooting side of the lay-up line.  You approach the lay-up line, and are about to take your place - BUT FIRST YOU MUST! ....

TOUCH THE HALF COURT LINE

I'm not sure what would happen if you did not touch the half court line with one foot (much like running a suicide), nor do I ever want to find out.  Some say that if you don't touch the line, you will be forced to referee JV Girls Basketball games for the rest of your life.  A man can only call so many jump balls before he cuts his thumbs off.  I'm not sure where the "touching the line" ritual started, but I'm sure it had something to do with some anal coach (Ease it in, he says) somewhere that laid out every detail of his pre-game warm up schedule to his team.  As I was sitting at work, I noticed that Oklahoma was doing this as I was watching ESPN Gameday (the college basketball version).  The fact that people still do this at the college level shows me that this ritual has legs.  It probably does not happen in the NBA, but that is mostly because the players are too busy picking out groupies they are going to bang after the game.  Whatever the reason, this is the most unexplainable sports phenomenon there is today.  

That is all for today, hope you enjoyed and you can chime in with your weird rituals if you like.

NRTTS

Coach Deuce