Thursday, May 14, 2009

Mad Ups, Yo'


The dunk has long been the ultimate sports highlight.  Despite solid competition from the leaping TD catch, the bone crushing hit, the diving catch in center field, or the slick wrister past the goalie, the dunk has maintained it's status as the king of the highlights.  

America's obsession with the dunk is rooted in a very simple origin.  If a poll was taken of sports fans around the country, I would say that 99% of the people participating would report that they could not dunk a basketball.  The feeling of soaring through the air and throwing it down, spending a little extra time to hang on the rim and do a "Shaq Pull Up" is something that most people never feel.

This all being said, the emergence of one player has really brought the dunk into the forefront of my mind.



Big Baby Davis has emerged this postseason, much to the chagrin of Cleveland fans, as a solid if unspectacular low post player that can provide some good minutes in the NBA.  After taking one look at him, he also brings up visions of a 6'9" guy that cannot dunk a basketball.  Of course, this isn't true.  Big Baby can throw it down, albeit not very convincingly.  After all, he is an NBA power forward.  If he could not dunk a basketball, he would not be in the league.  This raises a bigger question, though. 

Is there anyone in the NBA that actually cannot dunk?  Think about it.  These are the elite 200 or so basketball players in all of the world.  The slob in the NBA would dominate any rec league or YMCA in the United States.  These guys only seem bad because they are playing against guys that are that good.  So is it possible that out of all the players in the NBA, that even one could not rise that ten feet and throw down a dunk?

I'm not sure of the answer.  I am leaning towards no.  However, this would not be a blog if we could not discuss it.  So, here are my top five guys that I think are the least likely to be able to dunk a basketball.  

Honorable Mention: Chris Webber (during the Pistons/Sixers years).  Rick Majerus would have given CWebb's vert a run for its money.



5. Kirk Heinrich - G - Chicago Bulls - The only way Kirk Heinrich can dunk is if he takes a running start and those he flaps those dumbo ears of his.  Heinrich can stroke the J, but I think Kirk would have to have the adrenaline flowing to be able to consistently throw down a dunk.  



4. Wally Szczerbiak - F - Cleveland Cavaliers - Wally had his day where he could definitely throw it down.  This is not his day.  Wally makes Doug Oates look athletic.  If he couldn't shoot the basketball, he would have been out of the league two years ago.  I'm not even sure Wally can still board slap.  It's as if all the hair product he is wearing is weighing him down so much that he cannot get any lift.



3. Brevin Knight - G - Utah Jazz - Knight, all 5'10" of him, has bounced around the league as much as Chris Gatling used to.  One thing if for certain, Brevin can dish the rock.  However, he cannot shoot (well), and he may not be able to dunk.  The guy has been around since the ABA merger (1997 actually).  He was around when the Cavs had Terrell Brandon.  If the challenge was spontaneous, I am positive that Knight could not dunk a basketball.  



2. Eric Snow - G - Cleveland Cavaliers - While Snow technically does play in the NBA still, his presence on this list is more of an all-time "guys who can't dunk."  Snow is technically retired, but has found a home on the Cavs bench as an "assistant coach" which he technically was for his last two years anyway.  When Snow played offense, you might as well have been playing four on five.  I don't think Eric Snow has ever made a jump shot, let alone got close enough to the rim to dunk a basketball.  With his knees, he may have to have one of those SlamBall trampolines to throw it down.



1. JJ Barea - G - Dallas Mavericks - Barea is listed at 6'0".  Right, and Shawn Kemp only has 8 kids.  Watching Barea on the court reminds one of when Earl Boykins used to run around and cause havoc for opposing teams.  The only difference between Boykins and Barea is that Boykins looks like he could actually have some decent athletic ability.  If there ever was a guy that could not dunk a basketball in the NBA, Barea is it.  

So there is the list.  Like I said, I don't think there is one player in the NBA that really cannot dunk.  But I'm thinking that these guys on this list need some time to warm up before they can put it down with two hands.  

Discuss away.

NRTTS

Coach Deuce

2 comments:

  1. I've definitely seen Wally throw down, as recently as the playoff series against the Hawks.

    Why is Steve Nash not on this list?

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  2. what about brian scalabrine?? he has red hair, only steps in the paint while chasing the guy he's guarding, and makes the average guy think he's athletic enough to play in the NBA.

    ReplyDelete