The King Is Dead

Like there could be any other headline for the triumphant return of NRTTS.  

For those still living in denial, The Next Great Hope for Cleveland fans was eliminated from the Eastern Conference Finals in Orlando, victims of a 4-2 defeat at the hands of the Magic.  

I'm not here to gloat.  Okay, maybe just a little bit.  But my gloating isn't so much directed at DeJuan Wagner/Trajan Langon/Terrell Brandon Cavalier Fan.  Instead, my gloating is aimed at the Lebron James Cavalier Fan who jumped on the bandwagon in hopes of riding King James to a sure thing NBA Title.  Those plans were severely derailed as the Magic exploited every weakness in the Cavalier defense, forcing James to be superhuman to win two games.  Lebron just didn't have it in him in Game Six, and the Magic executed their game plan to perfection.

As I was watching Game Six, the series in a nutshell was defined by two simple plays that the Magic ran.  After a few passes to get some motion, the Magic poured it down to 6'10" Hedo Turkoglu down on the block matched up against 6'3" Delonte "You Better Get My Dough-Nuts" West.  Turkoglu beat the help defense and scored easily over the much smaller West.  The second play happened a bit later.  When the Magic ran through their offense, the ball ended up with Turkoglu at the top of the circle matched up one on one with Anderson Varejao.  Hedo took his time and beat the bigger Varejao off the dribble, scoring easily in the lane for another Magic bucket.

Turkoglu was the matchup nightmare for the Cavaliers.  When the Cavs tried the vaunted small lineup of Williams, Gibson, West, James, and Varejao, the Magic ate them alive by creating matchups for their bigger, more skilled players in Rashard Lewis, Michael Pietrus, and Hedo Turkoglu.  

The word that comes to mind when I think of this Eastern Conference Finals is exposed.  So many people on this Cavs roster were exposed by a hungrier Magic team.  Mo Williams was exposed by Skip To My Damn Lou of all people.  Illgauskas was exposed as being the slowest human being on Earth by Dwight Howard.  Ben Wallace was exposed as a has-been defender by Dwight Howard.  Anderson Varejao was exposed as a limited role player by the Magic front line.  Finally, the city of Cleveland was exposed as a city of pretenders.  If this is the straw that breaks Lebron's back (sending him out of Cleveland), the Q will be back to being a half empty basketball arena next to a half empty baseball stadium.  

While I am on the subject of Cleveland Fan, has there been a more annoying fan than Cleveland Fan in the last three years? (This excluded the eternally annoying Ohio State Fan, who for the sake of this argument is left out.  Rest assured, they are an all-time #1)  First, we had the Tribe's run to the ALCS, with their hopes being crushed by the Red Sox in seven.  You had everyone and their brother claiming to be a huge Indians fan, sporting the new Franchise hat at the bar while cheering on the next big thing Fausto Carmona (a big ooooooooops on that one).   The next year, expectations were high and the Tribe got off to a terrible start.  Those same fans that were at the bar cheering have not been heard from since, gone onto their next bandwagon.  Lebron joined the Cavs after the 2003 NBA Draft, and that is when it really started.  It didn't get bad until that terrible "Witness" billboard popped up in Cleveland.  Suddenly, every person that saw the billboard (or even had heard the name Lebron James) was a "Witness" to the Cavaliers rise.  These types of fans make me sick.  You couldn't get on Facebook without having your front page bombarded with a dozen new "witnesses" who probably think a "pick and pop" is some type of ending to a porn movie.  I really have nothing against Lebron James and the Cavs other than the fact that they were a bit over hyped in a weak Eastern Conference and their fans are obnoxious bandwagon jumpers.  I hope this loss sends some of the "Witnesses" back into their holes so that the real fans can take their team back.  

(Sidebar: While researching Delonte "You Better Get My Dough-Nuts" West for his portion in this post, I went to his Wikipedia page, where the first sentence reads ..

Delonte Maurice West (born July 26, 1983, in Washington, D.C.) is a white American professional basketball player in the guard positions for theCleveland Cavaliers of the NBA.

the keyword in that sentence would be white.  Nothing about West screams "white guy" other than his unusually pale skin.  If, in fact, Delonte West is white, than the Reggie Cleveland All-Stars of White Athletes That Sound Like They Are Black Guys has to be renamed to the Delonte West All-Stars, right?  Not only does Delonte West sound like a black guy name, he looks like a black guy.  Someone needs to find out the truth immediately.

That's all for the comeback edition of NRTTS.  I will leave you with this Ron Artest quote from after he was ejected against the Lakers in the playoffs. (Just pay attention to his story in the beginning)

Uh....a table leg?! Remind me not to play at that playground....

NRTTS

Coach Deuce