The News

The first games of the Final Four have come and gone, and the biggest news coming out of Detroit was how bad Roy Williams looked in HD during the post game interview.  Roy looked worse than Jeff Van Gundy on a week long bender.  The guy had more sunspots than Hulk Hogan the week after he fell asleep in the tanning bed.  Hey Roy, mix in a little SPF 45 so you don't look like a beat up leather baseball glove in your annual Final Four interview.  

On that note, if I had to make a list of Top 5 Sports Figures That Suffer From HD, it would go like this :

5. Chris Kaman - You can see the grease oozing out of his hair

4. Norv Turner - Those pock marks couldn't be hidden if he wore a Kane mask

3. John Cheney - Bags under the eyes are puffier than Shawn Kemp's genital warts

2. Randy Johnson - Rat features are only eclipsed on the ugly scale by his awful moustache

1. Jeff Van Gundy - Who knew the guy from The Critic was also an NBA coach

Also in sports news:

• The Broncos traded Jay Cutler and a 5th to the Bears for a 1st and 3rd this year, a 1st next year, and Fat Faced Kyle Orton.  The only thing this deal does for me is to prove how much  the Patriots dropped the ball in only getting a 2nd round pick for Matt Cassel and Mike Vrabel.  They can spout all the "we only wanted a 2nd" jargon that they want; they messed up, and Denver proved it.  When the Broncos can get as much as they did for a guy that everyone knew didn't want to be there tells me two things: 1) He is coveted and a franchise QB and 2) The Bears front office is realllllllly desperate.  When was the last time the Bears had a good quarterback?  Jim McMahon?  With Cutler, they definitely have someone they can build around.  Throw in Matt Forte, Devin Hester, and Greg Olsen, and you have some good young talent to build around.  My only concern is that their wide receivers are too unproven for their offense to be anything more than an average to good group.  Still, Brian Urlacher, Lance Briggs and Co. must be smiling now that they finally have someone with a pulse under center.  Insert diabetes joke here.
• Big No Shit Moment of the Weekend - Jim Calhoun is mulling his coaching future after bowing out of the Final Four.  Rats deserting a sinking ship.
• The Giants released Plaxico Burress amid his legal troubles.  I'm not sure how I feel about this yet.  This puts a lot of pressure on Dominik Hixon and Mario Manningham to prove they can be consistent NFL receivers.  One thing is for sure, the Giants lack a good red zone threat, something that really hurt them down the stretch.  I look for them to either trade for (Braylon?) or draft someone that they can look to in the red zone.  
• The latest example of a girl being Marco Jaric'd - Former NHL Toronto Maple Leaf goon Tie Domi is dating Nip/Tuck star Kelly Carlson (pictures at link).  How does this even happen?  I would pay to be a fly on the wall at that first meeting.  
• There were rumors swirling that former USC linebackers Clay Matthews Jr. and Brian Cushing had tested positive for steroids at the NFL Combine.  While I'm too lazy to see if these charges have been validated or not, one look at this pic of Freshman Cushing and Senior Cushing leads me to believe, "Uhhh like duhhh"

Holy Man Boobs, Batman!

Never Run The Toss Sweep

Coach Deuce