Draft Deadlines

We're all pretty certain here at NRTTS that Coach will come through with a very in depth report on the draft that will rival Mel Kiper...without the douchery of course. Mel Kiper: Draft Expert, how do you make six figures just pulling shit out of your ass for 3 months a year? Kiper's another story for another day so lets get the real stories of the NFL draft.

There are no real stories. This a selection of players who for the most part will not be worth a damn in 4 years. There's no bones about it the NFL is based on stars, and this draft didn't have any. We didn't have a Heisman Trophy winner, a National Champion QB, nobody except two overly hyped QBs who would've been 3rd rounders 10 years ago and a few RBs who will be in the same sentence as Tim Biakabutuka and Rashaan Salaam. Who? Which leads to another post for another day: Where the hell did college football players go? Are we getting more and more mediocre talent? Where the hell did the prototype players go?

"But Gate, the Draft is about hope!" Get out of here, the Browns, Lions, Raiders, and Bengals did not launch themselves into upcoming Super Bowl dynasties over the weekend. These teams could have had 30 picks and wouldn't have found the guys to make anything happen. Teams are built on savy veterans, ask the Patriots, sure they got LUCKY with Brady, (Damn, this entire post is just loaded with extra posts for another day: Remember Henson for Heisman?), but they don't continue the dominance we've witnessed for virtually a decade without free agency.

"Alright, if its not about hope, its about hype, who's going #1??" Really? How many times have we wondered this on Saturday morning? I can't remember the last time, partially because I don't care enough about it to remember, (similar to who won the NCAA tournament a month ago, takes me five minutes for it to come to me), that we actually didn't know. And when we found out this year it was the most rediculous yet. The Detroit Lions sign Matt Stafford to a deal worth $42 Million in gauranteed money. Thats 8 digits for a guy with questionable decision making skills, no National Titles, no conference titles, and no Heisman. Somebody is paying an employee 8 figures for a trophy cabinet thats biggest mark is a 2009 CapitalOne Bowl MVP. After football he can make twice as much teaching people how to either interview that well, or offering an oral sex clinic.

Most of all the draft feels just like its replication in any of the MADDEN series. You and a bunch of buddies all decide at 9 o'clock one night "Aw I know what we can do, we'll all draft a team and go head to head in a season." Well by the time you hit round 4 its 1 AM and you hit the "simulate remaining picks" and realize "Fuck, now we've got a five game schedule and tournament to play and half of us are asleep, Gate you lost your first game and now we're gonna change the format to sudden death...your death counts though." I'm looking at you Stefan, and Andy, and any of you sons of bitches that were there to participate in the holocaust of my PS2 memories.

While the last paragraph has a large effect on my feelings of the draft there's no real anamosity between myself and the draft. As a sports fan I can see the diehards really following this, but really there's no good reason for me to spend my entire weekend, especially Sunday, watching ESPN tell me why the Titans are trying to figure out if Joel Iwanaga's 40 time is more important than Buzz Featherington's vertical jump.


Thoughts and Musings

• Is there any reason that the Cincinnati Bengals keep drafting Michigan's shitty CBs? I mean really Leon Hall was a trip, but now Morgan Trent? Get used to this picture Bengal Fans, you'll see it weekly.




• I'm also not too thrilled to see only 2 Michigan guys taken in this draft, not suprised, just not thrilled. I'm looking at you Richard.


• Chris Wells (drop the Beanie now, you're a grown ass man) should work out well with the Cardinals, he's the back the Edge was supposed to be.


• I hate Mel Kiper. Doesn't it just piss you off looking at him?

Let the Gate Swing Freely, and with a high Wonderlic Score