It's In The Game

Some believe they come in the middle of June, but its obvious, we're in the dog days of sports. Sure there's some stories in baseball, but it doesn't really become relevant until at least July. While the NHL and NBA playoffs trudge on being watchable we don't get to see a championship until June. So with help from EA we make it happen on our own. Video games have been our solace from the real world where our teams are bad, our seasons over, or we need the power trip that only running a front office can bring. There's some good ones and some bad ones, the ones you play til 3 in the morning, and the ones you still would. I'm feeling old school, when video games were just a season, a playoff, and a trophy. So you won't see Franchise Mode, Minor Leagues, or all that other great but complicated stuff.

#5 Super Baseball 2020

You won't find a more interesting game of baseball on any system. If they made it for the PS3 I'd prepay and be waiting in line for a midnight release at Gamestop. This was baseball juiced up...no, not like that. Down 0-2 with runners on the Tropical Girls use their money earned the last inning to upgrade the Debbie's power. Hoping to bomb one out to the Home Run zone in deep center field out of the reach of the Centerfielder's jetpack. But the Metal Slashers bring in their closer R-11 to shut her down. Yup, Men, Women, and Robots...that's how Bud Selig gets back in the drivers seat of American Sport.

#4 NHL '94

It didn't get any prettier than the "Patented Move" perfected by Pavel Bure. EA never turned back after 94 and soon became the juggernaut that it currently is. The NHL was great during the mid 90s, and it transferred well to the virtual ice. The checking was fierce, the injuries were there, and when you got through it all you got to skate around the ice with The Cup hoisted above your head. If you never got torched by Stefan Diehm and the patented move, you missed perfection. When Pavel would rush up ice, hit the faceoff dot and turn 90 degrees, you new it was over. He'd cross the ice, and you're goalie, inexplicably small compared to the net, would inevitably be out of position. Hats would hit the ice every time, so if you weren't ready to put up six goals, you weren't going to make it. Classic.


#3 NBA Jam

THE NAIL IN THE COFFIN!!! Dunking, shooting from the perimeter, and hardcore defense. Was there anything better than hearing "He's ON FIRE!!" then you knew no one could stop that three from half court. Knocking your man down, streaking down the court and jumping out of the gym to slam it down was common, and what made this game so great. There was no reason to play the CPU, because it just couldn't hang with you...BOOMSHAKALAKA!!!




#2b Mutant League Football #2a Jerry Glanville's Pigskin Footbrawl

It was either one, depending on which was available at Movie Mann...If you wanted off brand football you couldn't beat these two. Mutant League basically let you play a violent version of the game. The differences were falling through holes in space, and that damn Jaywalking penalty. I'm still not sure how you get called for Jaywalking on a field, but i took my five yards. Footbrawl was one of those things as an adult I wonder why Jerry Glanville would put his name on it, it was pretty awful. You wandered a field or a dungeon, laced with object to run into and knives, hammers, and other foreign objects. Play didn't stop until someone scored, so it was kind of a rugby version of football. Nothing better than grabbing a knife and meeting the ball carrier for a scrum ending in his death. Literally....He was dead. It was football at OZ...after a few shanks you got the chant for TROLL TROLL TROLL. The troll was a mercenary with a stiff arm stronger than Heisman himself. I miss this one....


#1 Bill Walsh College Football

This one takes the cake. When I think of my youth wasted playing video games, I think of nights spent up til 5 AM playing Bill Walsh at the Diehm household. Penn State was College Station and Ohio State was Columbus, simple times...There wasn't anything to dislike about BWCF except another fateful night in my video gaming career I will never forget. We played an entire season as the Wolverines, posted an undefeated record and were playing Columbus in the Rose Bowl. Surely heading for a National Title with minutes left in the game we were flying high. But then Columbus drops back throws a bomb, it bounces off my hands Stefan's helmet and into the waiting arms of Columbus...we lose the game, the title, and 7 hours of our lives.

Ron Barr must have made a killing in
the 90s, he was in everything.

Note: I realized afterward I mixed up 3 and 4. But with the pain in the ass that is blogger posting you'll just have to deal with it.

Let The Gate Swing Freely