The Sports Elite

Another week, another Michigan loss.  Wednesday is usually the day when I come on here and give reasons for hope and optimism that Michigan will snap out of its funk and get that elusive 6th win to become bowl eligible.  Not this week though; that act has become a bit tired.  I do not want to run the risk of sounding like a broken record.  Everyone knows Michigan's defense has enormous holes in it that will not be filled this year.  Everyone knows that Michigan's offense relies heavily on Brandon Minor, who may have the worst injury rating in all of the NCAA.  None of this will change for the rest of the year, so lets take some time to explore something else that has been on my mind.

At some point, when you have watched or played enough sports, you fall into a category that may or may not be a positive thing: The Sports Elite.  This is when you know (or think you know) enough about sports that you can carry an intelligent conversation with another sports elite.  You watch SportsCenter regularly, probably listen to some type of sports talk radio, and frequent websites like ESPN.com, SI.com, or sports blogs that interest you (like NRTTS!).  I consider myself to be in this class of sports fan.  Sports have been a part of my life for so long that they are second nature by now.  When I turn on the TV, I immediately go to ESPN to see what is on.  When I fire up the computer, some kind of sports site will be the first visited.  I don't wear this as some kind of badge of honor.  Rather, this is what interests me the most so I choose to be knowledgeable on as many subjects as I can.

Now to the meat of the post.  Once you enter this zone, you cannot go back.  I will forever know the names of Trey Junkin, Carlisle Holliday, and Stanley Jackson.  The image of Jason Gingell getting that fateful FG blocked against App State will always haunt my dreams.  The start of the NFL Draft will always get my blood pumping.  These are just facts that will remain with my for the rest of my life.  I would have it no other way: sports are what get my blood pumping - what gets me through the week.  There is one downfall to being a Sports Elitist, though.

Talking to the Non-Sports Elite about sports.

I don't know if it's because I wear a lot of sports team apparel or if I have a giant sign on my forehead that says "talk sports with me," but people inevitably make it their pastime to engage in a sports related conversation with me.  Within 10 seconds of the conversation, I can tell if I am talking to a SE or a NSE.  It is the latter that really annoys me.  It is a painful experience to try to talk sports with someone who has no idea what they are talking about.  Think of it this way: I don't go up to Craig Krenzel and talk Molecular Biology with him.  I realize that his major is something really hard because Brent Musberger told me so about 439 times.  Rather than embarrass myself entirely by trying to act like I know something about Molecular Biology, I would just keep my mouth shut and not talk at all.

Case in point.  The apartment complex that I live in offers a free shuttle to and from campus on weekdays.  The driver of this shuttle (which is just a big van, Bang Bus style) is an old guy, probably retired, who wears an assortment of straight billed caps (LA Raiders - not Oakland - BGSU, and Florida Marlins).  At the start of the year, the talk was limited to "Did you see X play Y this weekend?" and then some analysis on what he saw during those games.  It didn't annoy me at first, but I could tell he was a NSE right away.  After all, the week after the USC/OSU game he kept telling me how it was amazing how "UCLA kept having such good football teams" and how they "keep hammering Ohio State".  Okay, driver, just give it up.  His in depth analysis of the game was how he couldn't believe how "them California guys just kept getting right in there, while Ohio State couldn't do that".  Sigh.  I would just agree with him and count the seconds until the shuttle arrived to its destination.  It has continued to get more and more painful as he has become more comfortable with talking sports with me.  This week, he again told me how UCLA has had such great teams and how "them Nebraska guys sure are something else".  The doozy of it all was when he proclaimed that "Ohio State always completes that one deep pass every game not matter what". UGGGGGH.  I know it makes me a bad person that I loathe listening to this guy talk: after all he is just trying to do his job.  At some point though, I just want to launch into an in depth rant about how UCLA has really fallen off the map ever since Cade McNown and Jonathan Ogden left campus, and how USC has really taken over the state as the premiere football powerhouse.

Another example.  Those guys sitting behind us at the Michigan game who proclaimed that "Tate Forcier is awful" and doesn't deserve to be in the game.  This is the same guy that would not stop pointing out that Donovan Warren wasn't playing press coverage.  Every play it was "Look at him! What the hell! Why is he so far off! *Warren proceeds to walk up to press coverage pre-snap* Look at Woolfolk! He is off! What the hell! That is just bad coaching!"  I wanted to turn around to the guy and call him out for the idiot that he was, but that would really serve no purpose other than to get into an argument you just can't win.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is if you know you aren't really knowledgeable about something, just try to avoid it.  I don't go around talking about the merits of the proposed health care system just because I don't really know, nor care, much about it.  If there is ever any doubt whether you are or are not a Sports Elite, tread lightly.  Don't try to overdo it and impress somebody, because you will just end up looking stupid.

NRTTS
Coach Deuce